Trail Torment
The Ultramarathon Indignity Simulator
Experience the magic and the misery of ultramarathon racing. Take on the legendary 32-mile Pemigewasset Loop in the White Mountains. You've got this!
Experience the magic and the misery of ultramarathon racing. Take on the legendary 32-mile Pemigewasset Loop in the White Mountains. You've got this!
You know the Pemi. Or you know someone who does. You know what happens at mile 22 when the blazes thin out below Bondcliff and every logging road looks like a trail. You know the CW vs. CCW debate. You know what "Struggle Bus" means at a start line.
This game knows all of that too. It uses real trail data, real navigation hazards, and a real FKT leaderboard. The tone detection system rewards encouragement and punishes profanity. "Almost there" at mile 6 makes things worse.
It's the funniest thing you'll play this year. Because it's true.
Remember choosing how much food to bring? Watching someone in your party get dysentery? Making decisions you knew were wrong but making them anyway?
Trail Torment is that, but on a mountain. You're the pacer, not the runner. Roll a random starting condition. Pack your gear (every item costs weight, every missing item costs more). Choose your route. Then watch your stick figure suffer through 32 miles of increasingly poor decisions while you try to keep them alive.
Your runner has died of GI distress.
"You're amazing."
— David Roche, right after your runner faceplantsWant real coaching advice instead of simulated suffering? UnicornKick is our AI coaching app for runners and athletes. Same team, less GI distress.
32 miles. 9,000+ feet of elevation. 8 segments of real White Mountain trail.
Franconia Ridge · Bondcliff · Garfield Ridge · Galehead · Osseo · Wilderness Trail
Best Day, Fine Form, Mid-Pack, Not Great, or Struggle Bus. Play the hand you're dealt.
Every item costs weight. Every missing item costs more. Storm shell or no storm shell? Decide now.
Counter-clockwise hits the big climbs early. Clockwise saves them for later. Real runners argue about this.
Four actual trail junctions where actual runners actually get lost. Below Bondcliff, the map doesn't always help.
Encouragement restores will. Profanity drains it. "Small steps" on a climb helps. "Almost there" at mile 6 hurts.
Falls, blisters, GI emergencies, bonking, weather, chafing. The mountain doesn't care about your plan.
Verified fastest known times. Your finish slots in next to the best. Good luck with that.
Finish and earn a buckle with your time engraved. DNF and a Saint Bernard brings you a blanket.
Real verified fastest known times. Your in-game finish ranks against the best.
| # | Name | Time |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jake Acito | 5h 32m 34s |
| 2 | Jack Kuenzle | 5h 36m 31s |
| 3 | Ben Thompson | 5h 42m 05s |
| 4 | Patrick Caron | 5h 45m 12s |
| 5 | Ben Thompson | 6h 06m 53s |
| ★ | "The Prof" | 7h 13m 55s |
| # | Name | Time |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Britta Clark | 6h 31m 49s |
| 2 | Jess Marion | 6h 59m 37s |
| 3 | Kels Spare | 7h 12m 55s |
| 4 | Larisa Dannis | 7h 34m 25s |
| 5 | Larisa Dannis | 7h 40m 52s |
Screenshots from real runs. Share your worst moments and we'll post them here. The lower your Will to Live, the better.
📸
The wall is empty. Someone has to go first.
Take a selfie in the app. Share it with us. Become legend.
Or tag #TrailTorment on Instagram and we'll find you.
Some trails you run once. The Pemi Loop is the trail you keep coming back to. It's the trail that taught my family what we're made of. It's the reason this game exists.
Trail Torment: Pemi Loop is the first course. More routes are in the works.
23 miles across the highest peaks in the Northeast. Exposed ridgeline. Weather that changes your plans.
171 miles around Lake Tahoe. Altitude. Heat. Pine forests that all look the same at mile 90.
273 miles through Vermont. The oldest long-distance trail in America. Mud, roots, and "Vermont flat."
Got a trail that deserves the Trail Torment treatment? A feature you want to see? Tell us.
Requests go directly to the dev team. No public display.
Under 10 minutes. Free. Your dignity is not guaranteed.